The Life of Mrs. Fifty Shades | Chapter 15

The Life of Mrs. Fifty Shades

Chapter Fifteen

Ana

A week had come and gone.

An entire week.

And I was going crazy.

“There’s no news?” I asked Grace over the phone.

“No. I’m sorry, honey.” Her strength was breaking, and the anguish in her voice was crippling. Seven days was a long time for your son to be missing.

“Nothing? Not even a lead?”

“No…”

Even if I could get back to America, I wasn’t sure how I could help. If the police didn’t know where to look, how would I know?

“The FBI are involved now since this case has attracted the media. We’ve got the best minds working on this, Ana. They’ll find him. And you know Christian.  He’s the strongest and most resilient man either one of us has ever known.”

I knew that all too well.

“Just stay strong, okay? Love those kids enough for both you and Christian.”

“I will.”

“Are they scared?”

“Teddy doesn’t really understand what’s going on. He thinks we’re on vacation while Christian is working…but I won’t be able to keep up the charade much longer.”

“I know. Just do what you can.”

“Call me if anything comes up.”

“I will, honey. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I set my phone on my nightstand then covered my face with my hands. I wished this nightmare would just end already. What if he was hurt? Was if they were torturing him? What if I never saw him again?

Phoebe was napping in the crib, and Teddy was spending the afternoon outside with one of the maids. It gave me alone time to fall apart into infinite little pieces. Christian was such a strong and intelligent man. I didn’t think anything like this could ever happen. He planned for this future and made arrangements to take care of me and the kids, but did he make arrangements for himself? We were nothing without him. Did he understand that?

A quiet knock sounded on my bedroom door. I didn’t bother inviting them inside. I didn’t care about manners anymore.

Crow cracked the door and poked his head inside. “You alright?”

I dragged my hands down my face until they fell into my lap. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

“What did Grace say?” He leaned against the door frame with his arms across his chest. He never set foot inside my bedroom. There was an invisible line he refused to cross. He went out of his way to make sure I felt comfortable living alone with him in his mansion. He had no ulterior agenda toward me, and he respected my husband by not coming into my bedroom and keeping at least five feet between us at all times.

I was grateful. “Nothing new.”

He looked out the window in my bedroom before he turned back to me. “Something will turn up.”

“What if it doesn’t?”

“Don’t think like that, Ana.”

“I can’t help it. He’s…everything to me.” Without Christian, I wasn’t Ana. Plain and simple. “Please help me. I don’t know what your business is or why Christian trusts you above everyone else in the world, but I know you have power. Please let me use it to find him.”

He bowed his head. “I already told you—”

“I know what you said. But I want a different answer.”

“I can’t be in two places at once. My job is to stay here and protect you. I can’t go find him and fulfill my promise at the same time.”

“You can if you bring us with you.”

“And endanger the children?” he asked coldly. “Kids aren’t my thing, but I at least understand their safety is a priority.”

“You can always hide us somewhere else.”

He shook his head. “This place is off the grid. Unless the guy placed a tracker inside you, he’ll never find you.”

I threw my arms down in frustration.

“I understand how you feel. But there’s nothing you can do for him. Christian is smart and resourceful. He’ll figure it out. Don’t give up on him.”

“But what if he’s being tortured—”

“Don’t think like that.”

“He’s my husband. How can I not?”

He stared me down, silently.

“I can’t just relax in paradise and forget my husband is fighting to survive. I can’t just kick back and convince myself everything will be okay. No one would be able to do that. So don’t expect me to either."

***

Teddy stared across the table at Crow. He dunked his spoon into his cereal but kept his eyes trained on our host.

Crow read the morning paper and ignored him.

“Isn’t a crow a bird?” Teddy asked bluntly.

I cringed in embarrassment. Children were always honest, and sometimes that bit me in the ass.

Crow kept his eyes on the paper but the corner of his lip upturned into a smile. “Yes. It is.”

“Do you like birds?” Teddy asked. “Is that why your mommy named you after one?”

“Teddy, eat your cereal.” I pushed the bowl closer to him. “And let Crow enjoy his breakfast.”

Crow set the newspaper down, still looking amused. “No. My mother named me Crow because I am a crow.”

Teddy stared at him in shock.

“I can transform into a crow,” Crow continued. “That’s why I live way out here. There’s plenty of room to fly and no one will figure out my secret.”

“Wow…” Teddy was fascinated by the ludicrous story. “That’s so cool. Change into a crow now.”

“I can’t do that now,” Crow said. “Not while we’re eating. Maybe later.”

I tried not to laugh at Teddy’s shocked expression.

Crow’s eyes moved to my untouched plate. “I think I’ve seen you eat twice since you arrived.”

Since it wasn’t a question, I didn’t respond.

“Is there a problem with the food? Lars can make you something else.”

“No, not at all,” I said quickly. “I’m just not hungry.”

“All the time?” he asked incredulously.

I wasn’t hungry most of the time. But now that Christian was missing, I was never hungry. “I guess.”

He shook his head in disappointment. “I’ll let Lars know so he doesn’t take it personally anymore.”

“I never meant to hurt his feelings. It’s not him.” My eating habits were something everyone objected to. It was unfortunate because I wasn’t purposely starving myself or dieting. I simply didn’t find any pleasure in eating. It was tedious and time-consuming.

Crow grabbed his paper and started to read again.

Lars entered the dining room. “Sir, Cane is—”

Cane burst through the doors in jeans and a leather jacket. He looked a lot like his brother but he was distinctly different. Where Crow was lean and toned, Cane was bulky with muscle. He had more mass around the shoulders and the thighs. “Yo, what’s up?” He paused at the end of the table and settled his eyes on me. “Well, what do we have here?”

Even though Crow was there, I was uneasy.

Crow kept his cool. He set his newspaper aside but didn’t rise out of his chair. “Is there something you need, Cane?  Because a phone call would suffice.”

“I wanted to stop by and talk about business.” He pulled out a chair and took a seat.

Crow stared at him coldly, giving the most terrifying expression I’ve ever seen.

I immediately put my arm around Teddy, not wanting this strange man to go anywhere near my son. Phoebe watched the man from her position in my lap but didn't make a sound.

“Cane.” Crow said so much with just a single word. “Leave now, and I’ll grant you mercy.”

Cane remained in the seat, a smile forming on his lips. “Crow, I just wanted to talk about business. That’s all. You’re always jumping to the wrong conclusion.”

Crow remained relaxed in the chair but the hard lines of his face showed his true irritation. “Ana, please take your kids upstairs so my brother and I can speak privately.” There was probably more he wanted to say, and even more he wanted to do, but he didn’t want to get violent in front of innocent eyes.

I grabbed Teddy and Phoebe and left the dining room as quickly as possible without running. We moved up the stairs and finally made it to the guest bedroom. The second I shut the door behind me, I heard a distinct crash. Plates shattered on the floor and a large piece of furniture tipped over and collided with the ground.

“Mommy, what was that?” Teddy asked.

I carried them to the bed and pulled out their favorite toys. “Nothing, sweetheart. Now play for Mommy.” I stroked his hair and hoped I didn’t hear anything else downstairs. When I first saw Crow, I was afraid of him. But now, I turned to him for protection, hope, and safety. He would never let anything happen to us—even if that meant killing his own brother.

***

The kids were asleep, but I couldn’t close my eyes. Instead, I stared at the burning fire in the hearth. The flames danced endlessly, and as the hours passed, they slowly simmered into red coals.

A light rapping sounded on the door.

I knew who it was. “Come in.”

Crow opened the door but didn’t walk inside. He stayed in the doorway and didn’t come any closer.

I eyed him from the couch. “You can sit.”

           

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door.

I turned my gaze back to the fire and ignored his stubbornness.

He kept his voice low when he spoke so he wouldn’t wake the children in the bed on the other side of the room. “I’m sorry about Cane. He won’t come back.”

“It’s okay.” I had many questions about Crow and his brother, but I didn’t ask them.

“He only came by today to test me. He likes to do that.”

I didn’t have any siblings so I couldn’t relate.

Crow sighed before he left the door and came to the couch. When he sat down, he kept several feet between us. He avoided my general proximity like the plague. He rested one ankle on the opposite knee and stared at the fire. He was still in jeans despite the late hour of the night.

“I don’t understand him. Why is he so…?” I couldn’t think of the right description.

“Irritating?” Crow asked with a chuckle.

“No. Violent.”

He turned his gaze on me, his brown eyes matching his constantly sour mood. “Cane does things his own way. He’s…not someone I would consider to be a good person. He doesn’t treat women as equals. In fact, he treats them like disposable slaves.” He watched my expression before he turned back to the fire. “I knew the second he set eyes on you what he wanted to do. I had to make it clear you were off limits, but that just made him want you more. But he won’t come near you. I give you my word. And my world is law.”

“Your word is law?” He reminded me more of Christian every time I spoke to him.

“Yes.”

“Are you like him? Like Cane?”

He considered my question before he found an answer. “I’m not a good man—not even close. But I have much better control of my violent desires. I understand consent much better than he does.”

That should terrify me, but it didn’t. Christian wouldn’t have arranged for us to come here unless we were absolutely safe. “Do you…do you hurt women?”

He turned his gaze back to me, not surprised by the question. “Yes.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“But under specific circumstances. It’s consensual, of course. And it’s about the pleasure, not the pain. I’m sure you understand as you’re married to the infamous Christian Grey.” The corner of his lip rose in a smile.

I blushed and looked away.

“But Cane is different in ways you don’t want me to mention.”

“Do you have a playroom?” I shouldn’t ask such intimate questions, but I’d been living there for a week. Somehow, I felt close to him. He was good to me and the children. And he respected my space and kept the bad people away.

“Yes. It’s on the third floor.”

“Oh…”

He watched me, waiting for another question.

“Do you have a submissive?”

“Not at the moment. The last one I had went to California for business. She’ll be gone for a few months so I thought it was better to just end our arrangement. Sometimes it takes me a while to find a new partner.”

“And that’s all they are? A partner?”

He nodded.

“That’s what Christian and I used to be. But I wanted more.”

He stared at me coldly, his expression hardening. “I don’t give more. I don’t give anything.”

“That’s how he used to feel too…until he met me.”

“Christian used to be harder than steel. I’ve been working with him for a long time. His exterior is just as callous as before, but when I see him with you…I see the softness. I’m not sure what his fascination is with you, but I’ll never share that kind of infatuation with anyone.”

“You’ll feel differently when you meet the right woman.”

He nearly laughed. “Maybe Christian makes you believe in fairy tales. But I’m no Prince Charming. I make the bad guys look like the good guys.”

I believed every word he said, but it didn’t change my opinion. I believed there was some good deep in his soul. If he found a woman who softened him the way I softened Christian, he would change. “One day, you’ll want a family of your own. A wife would make that easier.”

“Kids aren’t my thing. I’m not the fatherly type.”

“Christian said the same thing, and he’s amazing with them.”

Crow looked away and fell silent. Without saying a word, he told me this conversation had gone on for too long. He was stiff with tension and cold like ice.

“I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You didn’t.” He rose from the couch, his shoulder tense with power, and walked to the door. “Good night, Mrs. Grey.”

“What’s your last name?” I realized he never told me.

“Barsetti.”

I made the connection with the name on all the wine bottles. I should have figured it out on my own. “Good night, Mr. Barsetti.”

He shut the door behind him and the sound of his footsteps soon faded.

Teddy stirred from bed, the quiet conversation waking him. “Mommy?”

I went to the bed then ran my fingers through his hair. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“I like Crow. But I haven’t seen him change into a bird yet.”

I grinned. “I'm sure you’ll get your chance.”

He didn’t close his eyes. Instead, he kept staring at me.

“What is it, Teddy?”

“I miss Daddy…”

The momentary joy I felt shattered into infinite pieces. My job was to stay strong for both of them, but I struggled. When tears formed in my eyes, I tried to make them stop. But I couldn't. “I miss him too.”

   << chapter 14  |  chapter 16 >>

Thanks so much for reading about Christian and Ana. I love these characters so much! I'm going to keep writing their story, but I also have something really special to share with you...

Under my secret pen name, I've written a new story. It's called Buttons and Lace. It's DARKER and MORE INTENSE than Fifty Shades ever was. And Crow Barsetti is the leading man. 

Here's the synopsis and a special peek. 

***

Buttons and Lace by Penelope Sky

Available November 15

I owe him a debt. A big one.

The payment can't be settled with money or favors. He only wants one thing. Me.

Every action gets a reward. A button. Once I fill his jar with three hundred and sixty-five buttons, he'll let me go. He'll let me walk away.

But I have to earn every single one. By submitting to the darkest, cruelest, and most beautiful man I've ever known.

** TRIGGER WARNING ** There are some dark and disturbing scenes of abuse and punishment.

Excerpt:

The last thing I remember was a needle going straight into my neck. The serum knocked me out cold and I slept for god knows how long. When I first looked at that man, I thought he was my savior.

But he was my kidnapper.

I finally opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a bedroom decorated with elegant taste. The furniture was constructed of fine Italian craftsmanship, and the bookshelves were lined with novels in both Italian and English. A vase of flowers sat on the table, full of deep red roses that had just been cut.

I got out of bed and realized I was dressed in the same clothes as the night before. I still wore the expensive gown I took to the opera, and the diamond earrings still hung from my lobes. My fingers absentmindedly touched them as I examined the private bathroom, the Italian statues on the end tables, and the beautifully ornate window that looked out into the vineyards.

The vines trailed as far as the eye could see to the hillside in the distance. Purple grapes could be seen from my location on the second floor. Plump and juicy, they looked perfect for picking. The cool breeze moved through my hair and gave me the first moment of peace I’d known in a long time. I used to live in hell—something worse than hell.

And now I was in the most beautiful place I’d ever seen.

On the windowsill was a single red rose. The thorns had been sawed off and the petals were soft and blossoming with life. Underneath was a note scribbled on vintage parchment. The message was brief.

Don’t run.

I knew exactly who it was from.

The man who kidnapped me was a mystery. I didn’t know anything about him other than he was powerful, dangerous—and so handsome it was terrifying. With a chiseled jaw that was covered by a five o’clock shadow, he was rugged and rough around the edges. He had dark brown hair that almost looked black, and his mocha brown eyes burned with constant threat. He was tall and muscular but slender and toned. He was the kind of man who spent a great deal of time running and lifting weights.

Or maybe he got his exercise from more criminal activities.

I didn’t know.

Last night was the first time I’d gotten true rest. Every other night, I flinched at the slightest noise, fearful of impending danger. Even though I wasn’t safe here, the mask of beauty tricked me into believing I was.

Since the window was open, I assumed that meant I was free to move about the house. I walked out the double doors and stepped onto the landing that led to the staircase. The rest of the large estate was just as beautiful as my bedroom. I was in a house of Italian royalty.

Who was I dealing with?

I walked down the stairs until I reached the bottom floor. “Hello?”

A man in a suit emerged from a door on the far right. He was in his late fifties with gray hair that was thinning, but he had a twinkle in his eyes that suggested he was kind. He was nothing like the man who took me. “Hello, miss. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Lars, the butler.”

“Hi…” I didn’t know what else to say other than to ask where the nearest exit was.

“His Grace is waiting for you in the dining room. Breakfast will be served shortly.”

His Grace? What kind of ego did this guy have? “I’m not hungry, but thank you.”

“Not even for homemade Italian pancakes?” he asked.

My stomach growled in response. “Homemade, huh?”

He smiled. “I promise, they’re far better than anything you’ve gotten at IHOP.” He chuckled at his own joke then led me to the dining room. He opened the door for me and ushered me inside. “I’ll be back in a moment. How do you take your coffee?”

“Cream and sugar, please.”

He bowed before he shut the door.

I walked into the room and spotted the large mahogany table that could easily sit sixteen people. A large, ornate window took up most of the back wall, showing the vineyards just a few feet from the house. Like a large shadow in the room, the man sitting there took my entire notice.

Dressed in a gray suit and yellow tie, he read the morning paper. The headlines were in Italian, and his black coffee sat on a saucer in front of him. His plate contained a half-eaten egg white omelet. He didn’t look up at me, even though he knew I was there. His eyes continued to scan the paper, and my existence didn’t mean a damn thing to him. “Sit.”

Out of defiance, I continued to stand. There was nothing I hated more than being bossed around like an inferior. I crossed my arms over my chest and prepared to eat my breakfast while standing.

He still didn’t look up from his paper. “I won’t ask you again. And believe me, you don’t want me to repeat myself.” He didn’t raise his voice or use hostile language, but his ominous tone made me rethink my actions.

 I sat in the chair across from him, and the moment my ass hit the hand-sewn cushion, Lars came into the room and placed my breakfast in front of me. Three fluffy pancakes occupied one plate on their own, the steam rising to the ceiling. The other plate contained eggs, bacon, and assorted fruit. Steaming hot coffee was placed on my left, along with cream and sugar. I wasn’t sure how Lars carried everything.

Lars left the room, returning us to the stern and uncomfortable silence.

Again, he read the paper. He took a few sips of his coffee but didn’t make conversation with me. His wide shoulders looked powerful in his suit, and his bright tie contrasted against his innate darkness. His lips looked soft despite his calloused appearance. With short hair meticulously styled, he matched his elegant estate like they came as a pair.

I took a few bites while I studied him, trying to gleam details from my enemy. He wasn’t anything like my previous captor. This man was refined and educated. He had the kind of power that allowed him to command a room with only his silence. It wasn’t the false authority that relied on fear for cooperation. During my small interaction with Lars, I could sense his loyalty to his employer. “What’s your name?”

He turned the page like he hadn’t heard me.

“Would you rather I call you Picasso?”

His eyes continued to move from the left to the right as he read. “He was Spanish, not Italian. And I’ll speak to you when I’m finished reading.”

My jaw dropped at his attitude. Who the hell did he think he was?

Fucking asshole.

I scarfed down my food and my stomach expanded in happiness at feeling full. The food was delicious, the best breakfast I'd ever had. But the great meals and the pretty house didn’t trick me into believing I wasn’t in hell. I was just about to stand when he set down the paper.

With his elbows resting on the table, he stared me down with an expression so cold it made the arctic looked tropical. His large hands came together, his palms touching. Instead of looking at me like a person, he stared at me like a painting. Always gawking and never blinking. The intense eye contact was hostile and uncomfortable—because I had no idea what he was thinking. “Crow Barsetti.”

“Crow?” The word moved across my tongue. It was an unusual name, so strange I almost didn’t believe him. “There’s no way that’s Italian.”

“And there’s no way Pearl is American. It’s actually French in origin.”

My jaw dropped again when he knew my name.

He took a bite of his food then sipped his coffee like this conversation was perfectly normal for a Wednesday morning. “I’m glad you liked your breakfast. Lars is a talented cook.”

“I wasn’t hungry, but then he told me about the pancakes…and I caved.”

There was no humor in his eyes, just darkness.

I understood my enemy less and less. “When are you going to let me go?” He hadn’t hurt me or thrown me in a cage. When I woke up that morning, the window was open. I could have jumped out and run for it, probably with a broken leg. I knew he was dangerous, but he didn’t seem crazy.

“What makes you think I’ll let you go?” He moved his hands to the table and his fingers interlocked together. His shoulders shifted under the material of his suit, highlighting his muscles of steel.

My heart began to palpitate, terrified of the implicit meaning in his words. “The window was open. I’m not tied up. You seem pretty careless about keeping me confined.” The last thing I would do was show fear. The only way to interact with an enemy was to be ruthless. The moment I told him just how scared I was, he would take advantage of that weakness without mercy.

The corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “I inserted a tracker in your right ankle.”

My eyes went wide, and I immediately felt the area with my fingertips. Sure enough, a small bump protruded from under the skin and a tiny scar was just above it. “You’re a freak.”

“Would you like me to remove it?”

“You bet your ass I would.”

“Consider it done.”

I stared at him suspiciously, wondering if I missed something.

“But you’ll be confined to your bedroom at all times, bars will be placed over your windows, and you’ll take your meals in there as well.”

I hated this man. “You’re a dick.”

“I know.” He sipped his coffee without an ounce of shame in his eyes.

“What the hell do you want with me?”

He sipped his coffee again, ignoring the question.

I didn’t understand my captor. His mind and motives were a mystery to me. Evil wasn’t ingrained on the surface because his beauty was a distraction. His dangerously handsome face and powerful physique was like a trap. It lured you in, and once you were close enough, he snatched you.

That made him more dangerous.

A butter knife sat next to my fork on the cloth napkin. It wasn’t sharp like a steak knife, but if I used blunt force, I should be able to get it inside his heart. The table was three feet wide so it was a leap, but if I moved quickly, I could strike without giving him time to react.

Crow finished his coffee then grabbed the paper again, dismissing our conversation as old news. He wanted to keep me as his prisoner, but he didn’t seem particularly interested in me. Maybe he was biding his time until I dropped my guard.

He wouldn’t live long enough for that to happen.

I snatched the knife and threw myself across the table, prepared to stab him right through his expensive suit and into his beating heart underneath. My knee scraped against one of the plates and the table almost tipped over with my unexpected weight. I flew into his arms and pulled my hand back before it came down for the death blow.

With lightning speed, he grabbed me by the neck and threw me hard onto the surface of the table, my back colliding with the Italian wood and immediately screaming in pain. The knife was yanked from my hand and thrown across the room.

Fuck, he was quick.

He yanked my dress up and ripped it in the back. The tear sounded loud on my ears as more of my legs were exposed. My thighs and my underwear were on display for anyone to see.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I tried to punch him, but he twisted my wrist and pinned it over my head. He got his slacks undone and they fell to his feet. He stood in his black boxers with his jacket and tie still on.

When I realized what was happening, I panicked. “No! Stop!” I tried to twist out of his hold but he was unnaturally strong.

He yanked my hips over the edge and pressed the definition of his rock-hard cock directly against my clit through my panties. He was thick and long, impressive in size and girth. He purposely grinded against me, his cock stimulating my clit unwillingly. One hand was still on my neck, and he squeezed my throat until he nearly choked me.

A maniacal gleam was in his eyes as he stared at me possessively. His brown eyes nearly looked black as he conquered me with just a look. His cock throbbed against me, eager to be inside me and fuck me right then and there. He leaned farther over me until our lips were almost touching. “I. Own. You.”

I finally stopped fighting because I already lost the battle. He bested me with both power and agility. Just when I thought I successfully took him down, he slammed me back into reality. He was an opponent I couldn’t defeat. He was the kind of evil that never disappeared. “Don’t…” All I could do was beg. And right now, I wasn’t above begging.

He inched closer to me until he pressed a kiss to my mouth. It was soft, delicate in comparison to the way he gripped my neck and wrists. Heat burned into my mouth, and I felt my panties soak with my own fluid. My body immediately reacted to him like metal against steel. I hated him. I would kill him if I could. But my body naturally wanted his for inexplicable reasons. He pulled away with the same threat in his eyes. “I won’t.” He kissed the corner of my mouth, his soft lips delectable against mine. “For now.”

He pulled away and left me lying on the table. When he took a step back, he noticed the large spot of liquid that formed in the front of his boxers. The corner of his mouth rose in a smile because he knew it wasn’t from him.

I pulled my dress down and looked away, unable to handle the humiliation. I tried to kill him, and when he pinned me down to rape me, I actually got turned on. It was disgusting and despicable. I just wanted to disappear, to fade away until I no longer existed.

I just wanted to die.

Buttons and Lace 

by Penelope Sky

It hits stores November 15th, 2016. Click here to preorder your copy.
Thanks so much. 
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