The Life of Mrs. Fifty Shades | Chapter 22

The Life of Mrs. Fifty Shades

Chapter Twenty-Two

Christian

When I got married, Grace gave me some advice.

Never go to bed angry.

Now we lay side by side in the king size bed. Her back was turned to me and she hugged the edge of the mattress just to stay away from me. I stared at the ceiling as the night deepened into early morning. Without looking at her face, I knew she was still awake.

I’m sure Grace meant something different when she gave me that advice, but I took my own interpretation.

I wrapped my arms around her hips and dragged her across the sheets until she was in the center of the bed.

She tried to fight me, knowing exactly what I was doing. She pushed my arm back but her skinny arms were completely ineffective.

I pinned her underneath me then pulled her panties off. My legs separated her thighs, and I pressed myself to her entrance.

She still fought against me but she never told me to stop.

I shoved myself inside her, her hands pinned to either side of her head. I stared into her eyes and forced her gaze to lock on my face. She tried to fight the enjoyment she experienced. She purposely kept her mouth shut and her eyes cold. But after a few thrusts, her hips moved with mine, and she couldn’t resist how we felt together. Within seconds, she was moaning for me.

I was just as angry with her as she was with me, but sex seemed to fix everything. It told me we would be okay despite the tension between us. And I knew sex was something Ana couldn’t resist. I could get her to conform to any demand once I made her feel good. Every time she wanted to leave me in the beginning of our relationship, I rocked her world and convinced her to stay.

And it still worked.

***

When I woke up the following morning, I realized my plan wasn’t as effective as I hoped. Ana wasn’t curled into my side. In fact, she'd already woken up and left for work before my alarm went off.

And that was saying something since I was always awake at the crack of dawn.

“Fuck.”

I got ready for the day, said good morning to the kids, and then headed off to work. I drove myself since Ana was driven by Taylor’s temporary replacement. I didn’t mind since I needed some time to cool off before I walked into the office.

After I parked in the garage and walked to the door, I saw the media appear out of nowhere. Like they knew I was going into work that day, they swarmed me. I didn’t even tell Andrew I was coming in today, so they must have been camped out there every morning, just waiting for me to show my face.

I hate people.

I kept my head down and avoided their incessant questions. Cameras flashed in my face and people invaded my personal space. Despite how tense it made me, I pushed through the doors and finally got inside.

I took the elevator to my floor while everyone stared at me through the glass. Somehow, word had spread like wildfire. With every second I was in the building, thousands of employees were learning I was there.

At the top floor, I stepped out of the elevator and walked past the front desk. I said hello to everyone who said hello to me. But most people stared at me in shock because they weren’t expecting me.

Andrea was most surprised of all. “Mr. Grey…I didn’t know you were coming in.” She stumbled around her desk and came to my side, walking in stride. “Is there anything I can get you? Anything you need me to do?”

“Just some coffee. Black.” I walked in and shut the door. The silence of my office greeted me, and I loved the sound. I walked to my desk and sat down. The chair was the same one I’d been using for years, but now it felt foreign.

I stared at my computer without making a move. Then I looked at the phone on my desk. I had a lot of things to get done, but all I could do was think about Ana. I gave into my insecurity and called her.

I got her assistant. “Mrs. Grey’s office.”

I loved hearing that title. “It’s Mr. Grey. May I speak with her, please?”

“Of course. Let me put you on hold.” She hit the button, and I listened to the promotional recording for Grey House. Then she came back on the phone a moment later. “She’s…busy right now.”

Judging the hesitance in her voice, Ana wasn’t busy. She just didn’t want to speak to me. “Thank you.” I hung up and stared at the phone again, feeling worse by the second. My opinion on the argument hadn’t changed. But I didn’t want to disrupt what we had. I needed to know we would be okay. She left me once and it was insufferable. I couldn’t go through that again.

I called her cell phone this time. It rang several times before it went to voicemail.

“Fuck.”

I leaned back in the chair and stared at my empty office. The chairs were vacant and the large door was bigger than necessary. The plane Ana got me sat at the edge, exactly where I placed it years ago. The picture frame of the four of us at Christmas was there as well. My office was sparse and fairly empty. The only items I had came from Ana and the kids. To someone who didn’t know me, I looked like a family man.

And I was a family man.

My cell phone rang and Ana’s name appeared on the screen. Shocked that she was calling me, I stared at it for thirty seconds before I answered. When I did, I didn’t speak. And neither did she.

It wasn’t comfortable silence.

She spoke first. “Is there something you wanted, Christian?”

The guilt of avoiding my calls got to her. She couldn’t keep her distance for me very long. She cracked and crumbled.

“I just wanted you to know that I love you.” When it came down to it, that was the very reason I was calling. I had nothing to say about our previous argument. Everything was said and done. But I was fishing for something. Ana changed me so much I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. If a woman walked away from me, I never chased her. If a woman disagreed with me, she could leave. But with Ana, I was constantly chasing her, constantly trying to keep her as mine. Was that love? Or was that fanatical obsession?

Ana didn’t make a sound in response. She sat on the phone for nearly a minute without saying anything.

I actually feared she wouldn’t say it back.

She said one sentence before she hung up. “I love you too, Christian—no matter what.”

***

I pushed past the paparazzi as I headed to my car in the garage. They followed me the entire way, pushing cameras and microphones in my face. They all asked their questions at the exact same time like I could answer them even if I wanted to.

When I was in the car, I pulled out of the garage and finally got away. The worst thing about those encounters was my inability to say and do what I really wanted. All those cameras were pointed at me, and if I lost my temper, I would look like a jackass.

Even though they were the assholes.

I drove to the restaurant then walked inside. I called Elena earlier that day and asked her to meet me for dinner. She didn’t seem surprised by the call, and like always, she didn’t say much. She was different than most women I knew in that regard.

I slid into the booth across from her and unbuttoned the front of my jacket. “Elena.”

Her blonde hair framed her face in delicate curls, and her dark eye makeup made her eyes smolder. There were small hints of age on her face, thin lines around the corners of her mouth and her eyes. “Christian. I’m glad to see that you’re looking better.”

I lost ten pounds in captivity and it was difficult to gain back. Without nutrition, my muscles quickly atrophied and became weak. The lack of water also made me thin out. A proper diet, exercise, and sleep brought me back to my former self. “Thanks. I am too.” I waved down the waiter and we ordered our drinks and our dinner. I didn’t tell Ana I was meeting Elena tonight but she would probably figure it out when I didn’t come home at my usual time.

Elena held her liquor like a pro. She could drink more than I could and not appear affected. She was calloused and cold, very similar to the man I was. Ruthless businesswoman in the boardroom and a dictator in the bedroom, she was the kind of woman who knew exactly what she wanted. “Ana must have been worried.” Elena never told me she disliked Ana, but she didn’t hide it in her tone.

“She was.”

“Where was she?” She finished her glass then poured another.

“I arranged for her to be taken to a safe house in the event something happened to me.”

She stared at me with an unreadable gaze. She swirled her wine but didn’t take a sip. “Christian Grey is always prepared.”

“Always.” The conversation between us was a lot more forced than it used to be. Perhaps because we hadn’t spoken face to face in years. Ana made her dislike very clear, and Elena and I didn’t have much to talk about anyway. “How did you find me, Elena?”

She took a long drink of her wine before she spoke. “Your PI came forward and said you’d been asking questions about this man who claimed to be your birth father. The police looked into it but couldn’t find him anywhere. I knew he was a widow so I looked into his wife’s assets. There was nothing obvious, but when I checked her maiden name, a property popped up. And that’s where you were being held.”

She figured that out but the police didn’t? That didn’t give me a lot of faith in the police department. “I’m glad you figured that out. If it took any longer, I would have died.”

Her face was just as hard as it was in the beginning of the conversation. “Christian, we wouldn’t have allowed that to happen.”

I knew Ana was being paranoid. Elena had a perfectly acceptable explanation for how she located me before the police. Now Ana’s theory seemed even more preposterous than before.

“Is that why you wanted to have dinner tonight?” she asked. “To find out how we found you?”

“Yes,” I answered. “And to thank you. If I never saw Ana or the kids again, I would have died a very unhappy man.”

Again, her face was unreadable. “I’ve seen pictures of them. They’re both very cute.”

“Thank you.”

Instead of the comfortable silence we used to share, it was tense. Our professional and business relationship wasn’t the same as it used to be. “How’s Ana?” She spotted the pink elephant in the room and ripped it to shreds.

“She’s struggled to adjust. She was shaken up for a while.”

“Can’t blame her. I wish the police had killed that man when they rescued you. He doesn’t deserve to sit behind bars and take another breath.”

“I’d kill him myself if I had the chance.” It wasn’t about revenge. It was simply tying up loose ends. If he was buried in the ground, I wouldn’t have to worry about him coming after me later. It was just easier to kill him.

“So, where was Ana hiding?” she asked. “Somewhere in Seattle?”

It was the second time she asked the question, which I found odd. “Not in Seattle. She stayed with a good friend of mine.” I didn’t give up the information because of distrust. It was simply easier to keep it to myself. Someone could be eavesdropping or recording me at that very moment. I didn’t spill secrets in uncertain circumstances.

Elena didn’t ask the question again, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer.

“How are you?” I didn’t ask the polite question in the beginning when I should have. After all, this woman saved me. She deserved some respect.

“Good. The salon is doing well, and I opened up a health food restaurant near the market.”

I nodded. “I’ll have to give it a try sometime.”

“And get your hair done too.” She winked.

Elena used to do my hair, and then we would have some fun with the scissors. But that wasn’t something I needed to reflect on anymore. “Are you seeing anyone?” I knew she didn’t do relationships. Before and after she got divorced, it was never on her mind. The lifestyle I used to enjoy was something she could never give up. She was independent, smart, and insatiable. There wasn’t a single man in the world who could satisfy her.

“There was this one man but that fell apart. His wife found out.”

I became her submissive knowing she was married. At the time, I didn’t care about her infidelity. And I didn’t feel like a man breaking up a marriage. But now that I was married with two kids of my own, I realized how wrong it was. I shouldn’t have crossed that line, even if Elena’s husband didn’t love her anymore. I didn’t regret what Elena and I had, but I certainly regretted the fact I slept with a married woman. “Are they still together?”

“Not sure. We haven’t spoken since she caught us. If they were getting a divorce, I would assume I’d have heard from him. But since I haven’t, they must be giving the marriage another try.”

I noticed Elena had a certain proclivity toward people that were committed. She started this lifestyle when she was married herself, and she sought out men who were encumbered. “Is cheating a fetish for you?”

“No. I prefer it so they won’t expect anything more from me. You know what I mean.”

 I did. I didn’t want anything more until Ana came along. She told me to forget the rules and give her real romance. Despite my resistance, I caved. But I didn’t have any regrets. Now I understood what being happy really meant.

“Are the two of you still happy together?”

The question offended me, but I knew Elena meant well so I brushed it off. “Yes.”

“I see.” She broke eye contact and looked across the restaurant.

The question was odd but I didn’t want to continue down that road of conversation. “Thank you for locating me. Ana and I both appreciate it.”

“Of course, Christian. I would never let anything happen to you. We’ve got each other forever.”

My fingers rested around the stem of the glass and I let her words sink in. Elena was the only other friend I had in the world besides Crow, but due to the nature of our previous relationship, we could never be close. We couldn’t talk the way we used to and share our secrets. Even if sex wasn’t involved, I knew that would be wrong. If Ana was close with a man she used to sleep with, it would drive me crazy. I would be driven insane with jealousy until my head exploded. “It’s nice to see you.” I suspected I wouldn’t see her much after this evening.

“You too, Christian.”

***

I walked inside the house and was immediately tackled by Teddy. He ran right into my knees and nearly knocked me over by the surprise attack. “Whoa…” I looked down and saw my son’s smiling face peer up at me. “Teddy, be careful. You’re too strong.” I kneeled down and picked him up.

“Strong like you?”

My eyes softened at the comment. “Stronger than me.” I placed a kiss to his forehead and felt my tension ebb away. I walked into the house with dread because I knew Ana was still pissed at me. But Teddy made everything so much better. I put him down then walked into the kitchen. Ana stood at the counter as she cooked, her back to me.

I stood at the kitchen island and waited for her to acknowledge me. If she didn’t give me the attention my silence commanded, I would have to take it. My body tensed for the affection I needed, and I couldn’t stand this brush off. If the kids weren’t in the house, I would have thrown her on the counter and fucked her hatred out of her.

She turned off the stove then carried the pan to the island. She knew I was there the entire time because she didn’t rest her eyes on me. Like I didn’t exist, she ignored me.

I gripped the edge of the counter, my anger simmering. “How was your day?”

“Good. Yours?”

We had an agreement not to fight or argue in front of the kids. It was an environment we didn’t want for either of them. So we put up a show. “Uneventful. Didn’t get much done.”

“I skimmed through two manuscripts today. My eyes hurt.” She placed the food on plates, and then set the pan in the sink to soak.

“I’m always here to give you a massage.”

She ignored the advance and moved to the dinner table. “Teddy, dinner is ready.”

He was playing with his toys in the living room. “I’m not hungry.”

Ana’s mommy voice came out in full blast. “Sit down now.”

Teddy immediately obeyed.

She placed Phoebe in the high chair next then sat down beside her. Like nothing was wrong, she fed Phoebe and ate her own dinner at the same time.

I knew our conversation wouldn’t happen until the kids were asleep so I sat down and ate. Ana’s coldness was like a bad taste in my mouth but I ate anyway. If I excused myself from the table, Teddy wouldn’t eat his dinner and that would cause a headache of its own.

So we ate together in silence.

***

The kids were asleep and we were alone in our bedroom. She lay on her side of the bed reading while I lay on the other side and stared at the ceiling. Her use of the cold shoulder was highly effective. The silence was worse than the argument we had the night before.

I sat up and rested my back against the headboard. “Ana.”

She sighed before she set down her book.

“We need to talk about this.” I wanted this fight to be over and done. I didn’t want to go to work the next day and be distracted by my wife’s anger. We’d been through hell and back, and now we should just be happy.

“Okay.” She set the book on her nightstand.

“I saw Elena today.”

Ana didn’t react but her anger filled the room. Her breathing increased and she crossed her arms over her chest. “What did that child molester say?”

I didn’t bother defending her. “I asked how she figured out where I was. She explained she researched the man’s late wife. She didn’t have any assets, but when she looked under her maiden name, she found a house in the woods. She notified police and that’s when they rescued me.”

Ana pulled her knees to her chest, becoming smaller and smaller.

“She asked how we were doing and where you were hidden during the ordeal.”

“And did you tell her?”

“No.”

“Why did she ask such a question?” Ana finally looked at me, her eyes narrowed.

I thought it was odd too but I didn’t think there was anything to analyze. “I think it’s a reasonable question.”

“I don’t.”

“But she did ask me twice.”

Conviction was in her eyes. “And did you tell her then?”

“No. I would never give that information to anyone, not even my parents.”

Satisfied, she looked away.

“But I still don’t think Elena had anything to do with it.”

“What else did you talk about? I want to know everything.”

Why didn’t she just come to dinner with us then? “She told me she was seeing someone but they went their separate ways.”

“Because he turned eighteen?” she jabbed.

“No. He’s married and his wife found out.”

“Disgusting…” She shook her head, repulsed. “I’m sorry, Christian. But that woman is evil. I don’t understand why you have so much respect for her. She’s a homewrecker.”

“I don’t agree with her actions, Ana. And when we were together, she was married. So I’m no better.”

“Christian, you were fifteen. You’re a different person now. She’s an adult and has been an adult for thirty years.” Venom flew from her mouth like she was deranged. She could never see straight when it came to Elena. “What else?”

“She asked how we were doing.”

“In what way?”

“She just asked if we were still happy together.”

Her eyebrow raised. “Do you really not see it? First, she wanted to know where I was hiding—and she asked twice. Second, she magically figured out where you were hiding just before you couldn’t go on any longer. Third, she’s not seeing anyone and wants to know how your marriage is doing. Christian, she wants you back and is trying to get rid of me to make it happen.”

I actually wanted to roll my eyes. “Ana, no.”

“Yes!”

“No.” Even if Elena wanted me, she would never do that. “If Elena wanted us to be together again, she would just outright tell me. She would make a move in the middle of the restaurant. She wouldn’t pull these ridiculous stunts to make it happen.”

“She knows you’re happily married, Christian. The only way for her to get what she wants is by getting rid of me.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Ana.”

“No. I’m really not.”

Maybe I should have Elena permanently removed from my life even though she rescued me. Because Ana was never going to accept her under any terms. Her jealousy and paranoia caused her to fabricate these ridiculous ideas that simply weren’t possible. If I talked to Elena and explained the situation, I was sure she would understand. If she were married, her husband wouldn’t want me anywhere near Elena. “I’ll talk to her and remove her from my life. Would that make things better?”

“What?” she asked incredulously. “That doesn’t solve anything.”

So there was no solution?

“You aren’t listening to me, Christian. This woman tried to have me killed.”

She was still on this theory?

“She’s a threat. She’s a threat to me, the kids, and you. The only thing we should be doing is calling the police.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling my muscles grow stiff. “How many times do I have to tell you she isn’t a threat?”

She raised her voice, her eyes wide with emotion. “Are you really telling me there’s not even a tiny ounce of doubt in your mind? Are you really telling me there’s not the slightest possibility that I could be right? You’re the most paranoid and protective person in the world. And you’re acting like this is just impossible?”

I looked away, feeling the tension rise between us.

“Christian.”

“I guess there’s a very small chance you’re right. But I don’t think so.”

“And you’re willing to gamble your wife on it?” She gave me a new look altogether. It was full of hurt and maniacal anger. Ana was normally the calm and practical one of the two of us. But she turned into a savage fighter when it came to Mrs. Robinson. She would never let this go as long as we lived. “That’s it, Christian. I’m telling Grace.”

My heart stopped—right then and there. “Telling her what?”

“I’m telling her that her ex-best friend could be involved.”

Now it was my turn to be angry. My rage grew to an explosive level. “Ana.” I was too pissed off to say anything else. All I could do was warn her with the tone of my voice.

“Christian.” She turned off her bedside lamp and turned on her side.

“Ana.” I grabbed her arm and forced her onto her back. “You aren’t telling Grace a damn thing, alright?”

“I can do whatever I want, Christian. This family needs to understand how much of a psychopath that woman really is.”

I tried to convince myself she was just angry and lashing out. Her rage had reached a new level and she was saying things she didn’t mean. If I gave her time to cool off, she would think clearly again.

I had to pull away and remain calm. I had to give her the space she needed.

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